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Let’s Talk About It, Guys: Erectile Dysfunction Doesn’t Have to Be the End Game

Writer's picture: Tanya LooberTanya Loober

Updated: Jan 16

Ah, erectile dysfunction (ED)—the not-so-great uninvited guest to your bedroom. It’s like a buffering wheel for your love life: frustrating, unpredictable, and something no one really wants to talk about. But here’s the thing, fellas—ED is a lot more common than you think. Experts estimate that over 50% of men experience some form of ED by age 50. So, let’s take a deep breath, grab a jar of lube, and tackle this head-on with a wink and a smile.


First off, ED doesn’t mean you’re broken—it’s just your body’s way of waving a little flag saying, “Hey, let’s check in.” Stress, poor diet, lack of exercise, or even medical conditions like diabetes can contribute to the issue. Dr. Irwin Goldstein, one of the top urologists in the field (you can read his thoughts with the link), emphasizes that the first step is to talk about it—whether that’s with your partner, your GP, or a sexual health expert. Because, guess what? Ignoring it isn’t sexy, but being proactive is.


Now, let’s talk solutions. Good ol’ lube can be your ultimate wingman. Take coconut lube, for example—not only does it reduce friction and keep things smooth, but it also doubles as a luxurious massage oil. This means you can focus on creating sensation across the whole body, not just the erogenous zones (the sexy bits). From shoulders to thighs, a little extra glide from someone can turn touch into a full-body experience, bringing intimacy and relaxation back into the spotlight. And if you’re ready to spice things up further, dive into tantric Eastern practices. Tantra emphasizes slow, intentional touch, deep breathing, and connection, turning sex into a meditative, pressure-free experience. Experts like Diana Richardson (author of The Heart of Tantric Sex) advocate for embracing the journey, not just focusing on the destination.


Normalizing ED starts with dropping the shame. It’s not about bravado—it’s about intimacy, vulnerability, and yes, creativity. So, open up the conversation, experiment with new techniques, and remember: the path to pleasure is more than just a straight line. And if a little coconut ube or some tantric tricks help along the way? Even better.



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